Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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