Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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