He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
