If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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