I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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