sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
