I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
