he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
