nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
