GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
