home. puking in laundry basket.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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