It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
