butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
