I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
