ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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