Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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