i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
