Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
