just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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