If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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