I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
