i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize