I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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