i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
