a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Shame - the story of my life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
