i need an iv and a liver transplant
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
