they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
