Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
