just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
