I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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