I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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