Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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