Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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