I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
