I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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