Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
