He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
