Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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