What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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