dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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