chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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