is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
