So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
