And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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