Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
