I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize