hell yes lets make some ravioli
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
