I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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