Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
