Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
