there's paper in my vomit.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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