I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
