The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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