I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
