She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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