I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
