roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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