if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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