Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
