it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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