it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
