i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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