belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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