Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
